We had some fantastic sex on Friday night. MissusB was very much in the lead. We started and finished totally focused on her pleasure. In the middle she let me spend some time working on self control. Of course she was getting soundly fucked during that time, so while it was a kindness on her part, it didn't have to be a sacrifice.
We showered together. I waxed her thighs. During the waxing, she decided I needed to feel how waxing felt in order to do a better job, so she waxed a small strip on my forearm. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would and it was a little exciting just for being a bit exotic. She's been turning down full on foot rubs with oil, but still expecting/allowing me to rub her feet and lower legs for quite a while each evening. We got the glass replacement for the smelly rubber dildo, but she hasn't elected to use it on me yet. MissusB also told me to stop shaving my cock and balls, but to keep it "manscaped".
All these things felt perfectly natural and comfortable to us both, I'm sure. We did talk a little about how the WLM is going so far. She is concerned that I'm getting, in her words, "the Walmart version of WLM." She feels stressed by work and doesn't want to shortchange me. At the same time, she feels like she doesn't have the energy for a 'scene' all the time. I probably said too little, but I tried to reassure her that it isn't supposed to be any kind of burden on her, so she shouldn't feel pressure. I also let her know that she might be surprised by how effective little things are. She agreed and said she'd noticed how pleased I can be by just tiny acknowledement of leadership on her part. It made me think of this post from whatevershesays about a similar conversation with his wife. I am planning to show it MissusB, but haven't had a chance yet.
I have been feeling a little of the novelty wear off of this idea. I had half hoped that the sexual tease and denial would keep me keyed up enough that it wouldn't get at all stale, but I can't say I'm surprised that reality is less sparkly and shiny than a fantasy. It seems like I still have some work to do in adjusting myself to a reality where my wife comes first in my thoughts and in my moment to moment daily activities. I am keeping my mind open about whether WLM is a workable reality for us and so far, I'm convinced it is. There are some new routines to develop and some different lights to cast on some old ones. There's a chance for us both to grow and to grow together.
"Feeling the novelty wear off", is not uncommon, and as you rightly point out there is a stark and sometimes shocking difference between reality and fantasy. Fantasy is almost always certainly not going to be a realistic option for most couples, least of all because your wife won't want to live that way, and neither in all probability would you, so what you are experiencing is a reality check. Learn to adapt and be flexible with your wants and desires and it can grow into something really special, but you did need a lot of help from your wife. By help, I don't necessarily mean it has to be hard work for them, for as you have already pointed out with an imaginative use of tease and denial just little things from your wife will keep you satisfied and motivated.
ReplyDeleteNice post. Don't worry about the novelty wearing off. And yes, it's the little things that keep it going.
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