Absent

Not long after my last post, I more or less figured that this second attempt at FLR was over. Basically, there wasn't anything happening. I still was doing the housework, but I'm an at home dad, so that's natural. I wasn't up to my best but it was getting done.

We had some her MissusB's family in town for more than a week. Things just were not particularly anything in particular. I mentioned at one point that I had basically given up on FLR, but it was in a context where we couldn't get into it. MissusB just said, "No, you don't get to decide whether we are doing FLR or not." Then we had to continue whatever we were talking about and never got back to it. Honestly, it wasn't even on my mind.

In my mind, it was basically back to equal partners. I did hold back on masturbating assuming we'd talk things over at some point.

Then Tuesday night, as we were going to sleep, I said something about wanting to have sex just as I would have before FLR. Not pressuring, just an invitation. MissusB responded immediately, "You aren't getting any sex until this house is spotless." Just like that I was back to being hers again. We went to sleep after a chaste kiss.

Wednesday I cleaned as much and as thoroughly as I could manage in the time I wasn't taking care of the baby, but the house was definitely not spotless when MissusB got home. It was close, but there were a few things that clearly needed work. I got no dusting, sweeping, or mopping done in the bedroom, for instance, because the baby was asleep in there when I had time to clean.

I was very attentive all evening and was debating whether I should own up to my feelings that I still had work to do or whether I should take her generosity if she offered it. It didn't end up being as issue, because MissusB said it needed work but that she was sure I could get it done Thursday. Later, as we lay in bed before sleep she decided to use her Magic Wand and I got very excited. I don't think I have ever felt as desperate to slide into someone as I was at that moment. I begged and pleaded and must had no pride at all. Eventually, MissusB was busting up laughing at me, but it didn't slow me down. When she finally ordered me to settle down it was incredibly difficult to control myself.

Yesterday was Thursday. I apologized in morning, but she assured me that she had enjoyed herself and found it very sexy. I had no idea I was able to stay that excited while my wife openly laughed at me, let alone that I was married to a woman who would do it.

Again, I cleaned with nearly all the time and energy I had. While the house wouldn't have passed a strict military inspection, it was as clean as any house we've ever lived in together if not cleaner. We went out to dinner with some friends, so MissusB didn't see it until very late. She didn't offer any complaints, but made it clear we weren't going to be making love anyway.

This morning at breakfast, she mentioned a few little things she wanted to see improved today and suggested that I had good chances tonight. Friday is generally a "date night" for us anyway. These days, between the baby and not being in our twenties anymore, that often just amounts to having more than one glass of wine and maybe staying up an hour later. It means more, though, because it means that some time every week is dedicated to us as a couple. So, needless to say, I'm looking forward to a lovely night with MissusB.

reconnected

We had some friends over tonight. Most of today was spent cleaning and preparing for their arrival. MissusB did a lot of work, which made me a bit uncomfortable at first, but she seemed to want to, so I didn't say anything. It was just a nice day together.

We laid down for a nap that got sidetracked by MissusB vibrating herself to an orgasm. Then she asked me if I was excited and told me good night. However, she then reached over with the vibrator and started rubbing it over my stiff cock. She did that for a few minutes and I asked if I could come. It had been two weeks, which is longer than I've gone since we've been married, even counting when the baby was born. She said I could and it was fantastic.

Then we napped just a little and went back to preparing for our guests. It feels like the recent friction is just about totally behind us.

One of my in laws is coming for a visit soon, so I expect that will have a big impact on things around here both between MissusB and me and between the Internet and me. I'm not guessing it will be for the worse in either case, but I do anticipate and impact.

Lately

MissusB and I have been a bit distant for a while.

We've been basically just hanging around each other. We had an argument about two weeks ago and have each been dealing with the aftermath in our own way. Wednesday we had the aftershock argument. I think we have got things pretty well reknit.

FLR came up a bit in the original argument but I think it was more a distraction than actually relevant. Then in the meantime, neither of us has been really relating to each other in any meaningful way including leading or following.

During the follow up, I said that it didn't seem like FLR was making anything better for either of us and that we might as well give it up. I should back up, actually. Leading into the conversation, MissusB started telling me that I need to do this and that. It felt strange and not great. She had just been out of that role for long enough that it didn't make sense right away. Then we talked about things.

So, when I said that I didn't think FLR was getting us anything, she said I was no longer doing it right and that it had been good for her when I had been. When I talked about giving it up, she said "It isn't up to you whether we do FLR or not." and it wasn't a pose at all. As little as she has been leading, she still feels it is her decision. And she's right of course. Even before we were officially female led, she made the decisions and even if we ever go back to officially equal partners, she will be making the decisions.

So, we removed the splinter from our paw and are well on our way to mending. She's even mentioned the possibility of romance sometime soon.

Nothing Much

MissusB has been having some health issues that have taken basically all her energy. I've been taking care of the house she's been cooking a little. We've generally just been taking it easy. Nothing sexy happening. We've hardly left the house, really. She did apologize last night that we haven't had sex in a while. It was a very non-FLR moment and I just hope I handled it sensitively. While it is sexy for my wife to deny me sex or release and it can make her feel sexier and more powerful, it doesn't work that way when she feels like it isn't her choice either. Both of us are being rather unsexilly denied by her health issues. I assured her that I was fine and that I missed the cuddling more than anything else, but more than anything I just want her to get to feel ok.

So, there we stand until who knows when. I can only hope for her sake that she starts to feel better soon and can get back to a full enjoyment of life and love and everything she likes.

Unexpected

After the baby went to bed last night, I offered MissusB a footrub. She accepted and said that I should be naked for it. When I came back naked from gathering the foot rub things, she had me set them down and then turn around so she could look. She told me to 'stand proud' and corrected my posture in a couple ways. It was very different for us and exciting for me.

We watched her tv show while I rubbed her feet. Afterward, she said she needed an orgasm and sent me to get her vibrator from the bedroom. Then she set me to finding some web porn for her to look at while she masturbated. I started by looking at the few tumblr pictures blogs I look at and during that she was reminded of my picture and captions blog, which she hadn't looked at since just after I started it. I stood by and watched as she read through the whole thing. It was kind of scary to have so many of my fantasies exposed like that one after another. At the end, though, she praised me. She said she enjoyed it and thinks I struck just the right tone. I could see her sense of power grow a bit as she processed what she'd just seen.

We moved from that to just looking around a bit at random sites. She requested some ruined orgasm porn and enthusiastically narrated some picture sets while she fondled me and edged me for a little while. Pretty soon, she brought me to the edge and let go as I came on myself. It was my first ruined orgasm and she loved it. She asked me how it was. I told her that I'd liked getting there, but I didn't feel the big strong orgasm feeling and was still very turned on.

She was thrilled to hear it. MissusB now thinks ruined orgasms could be the perfect solution for us. She thinks more frequent orgasms are better for conception, and this is a way for us to do that without me getting more gratification than she wants me to have. I did mention to her that this was not one the parts of FLR that I was into or that I'd really considered before we started this. She briefly began to chastise me for trying to only be wife led when she leads me where I want to go. I have to admit that her tone and forcefulness was incredibly sexy. I assured her, though, that I wasn't trying to tell her or even suggest what she should do. I was honestly just letting her know.

In fact there are of course any number of things that I don't find exciting myself or even that I think would be unpleasant, but that I'd be thrilled to do if MissusB even felt a whim to try them. I have to admit that I'm feeling as focused on MissusB today as I do when I've been denied for quite a while.

Surprise

We went to bed Friday night as usual. Our house guests were a few rooms away. It was a chaste goodnight kiss. Then at about 3 or 5 or something, I was just laying next to MissusB fantasizing about something or other and let my feet lay get tangled in hers.  I assumed she was asleep, but she made a sort of motion that seemed like she was trying to get loose from me. I flinched off, since I was already alert and was afraid I may have been too clingy. She called me back, though, and said she needed to get fucked. Now, I was pretty sure at this point that we didn't have any condoms, so I didn't know what to do. MissusB told me to check the sex toys box, and I found one!

We made love some and fucked and it was amazing. I was not holding off very well and stopped to try to calm myself, but she didn't want that. With her permission, I let loose completely and we had a very hot finish. I felt so relaxed and content, but still devoted. Even today, though I've been lightly teased several times since then, I feel much looser, but no less hers.

I'm a very lucky man.

Indulgence

Yesterday I was having some doubts about some plans we have for moving house. MissusB was annoyed but took the time to go through the finances with me so I wouldn't worry. I trust her judgement, but I had some doubts mostly because I handle all the bills and she rarely looks at our financial information. Even so, she was right and I was just being paranoid, probably because of some past relationships with financially deranged women. It was just a sweet thing for her to do for me.

At bedtime, MissusB said she would love to have sex, but still isn't feeling up to it after her recent medical issue. I also reminded her that we have no condoms. She acted surprised, even though we'd talked about it pretty recently.  So, she decided we'd just go to bed. Once in bed, though, she was having a hard time getting to sleep and decided to use the Magic Wand vibe to get off and relax herself. While she used her right hand to guide the vibe, she grabbed my shaft with her left. Soon she was moaning and I was whimpering and thrusting. As I thrust, she just moved her had so I met no resistance no matter how I moved.

When she finished, she said she likes the little noises I make. I wasn't really aware of making noises, but ok. She also thanked me for helping her get off. Then it was time for sleep, though it took me a while to calm down enough to get any sleep.

It's now been nine days since I had an orgasm. I had to look at the blog since I stopped counting. Also, it has been a full month since I've had my penis inside her. I'm sure that we've never gone that long without fucking since the day we got together.