Saturday, January 23, 2010

And just like that...

Last night was sorta date night.  We had a lot of fun with our baby and had a nice dinner together. Then we hung out together while MissusB read and I played Borderlands. It was low key, but very nice. Then we went to bed.

We talked a little about stuff at her office. She's been under quite a bit of pressure there and thinks that has been taking some energy away from us. Then, she just climbed on top of me and we held each other there for a while. I wrapped my arms around her and hang on. I was in the best place in the whole world. Then we made love there. I am a very lucky man.

We talked this morning just a bit about FLR. She says she can tell I'm feeling better about things. She doesn't feel like she has creative energy to come up with "scenes". I don't need or even really hope for "scenes", but helping wives understand that seems to be a common struggle. I am certain that just literally a moment here and there could be enough to keep me dizzy. I couldn't figure out just how to say that during our conversation, or just how much or what kind of example I could offer. I will look for another chance to try to say it. I remember reading a list on someone's blog of the kind of little things a wife can do that seem big to a man but tiny to a woman. I will look for that, too.

Friday, January 22, 2010


I knew it had been a while since I posted here, but I didn't realize how long. Let's see if I can catch up without going too long.

Things were going along as they had been until about Christmas. We traveled to be near my family. After a couple weeks of denial, we had sex every night we were there. It was wonderful and I started to think that I might like to have sex more often. I talked to MissusB about it, and I started getting to actually make love to her and have orgasms about twice a week. Not long after that, I think her sex drive diminished, and I started to feel neglected. There just wasn't anything. After a couple weeks of that, I said I felt like FLR might have just worn off and maybe we should go back to equal partners. She said she didn't want that, but we didn't get to talk about it just then. She just took the opportunity to say she didn't want to have me changing my mind back and forth. We also didn't talk about it anytime soon after that. I maintained my voluntary chastity during that time while I waited for the right time to talk about it again.

I wish I had a better memory. Sometime after that, I started to feel it again. She still wasn't doing much leading outside the bedroom. The one time we did have sex during that period, she was ordering me around but not in a "scene" way. I'm not sure, but it came up again at some point and I apologized and said I was over my doubts.

Soon after that, her sex drive seemed to dip even further. Now, even though we are snuggling a bit more than before, which I love, and kind of sexual contact is basically missing. I still do all my chores, give her foot rubs, follow her directions and stay chaste. It is just that most of my teasing is done on my own with my caption blog or reading other people's writing.

Pretty recently, I would have considered this not to be an ok situation. I would have tried to get more. I think I have come to the point now, though, where it is ok. I will take care of MissusB and try to do all the things I can to make her feel good. Eventually,  I hope, she'll turn to me again in that way and that'll be great. Until then, I can be happy keeping her happy even with minimal sexuality between us.