Monday, September 21, 2009


We had a nice weekend after a bit of a rough start.

During dinner Friday, MissusB said that she wanted me to rub her all over with oil. Needless to say, I was enthusiastic about this idea. So, I went and got a sheet to keep the couch clean and found some oil. I put the sheet on the couch and she climbed in and wrapped herself up. Apparently she was feeling bashful. Ok, so I just sat at her feet as we watched some TV. I rubbed them and after a while massaged her feet and calves with oil occasionally caressing the outside of her thighs. We ended up going to bed after that with no all over oiling.  MissusB said she was grouchy with me, but couldn't say why.

Saturday morning, she said she'd figured out why she was feeling grouchy toward me. She didn't get her oil rub. My reaction was totally inappropriate. I got angry, totally withdrew, and didn't say anything at all in response. I continued the 'cold' treatment for a couple hours, in fact. Finally, MissusB straightened me out as we were riding on a train to go do something that was going to be completely ruined by my attitude. We were sitting across from each other grouchy and silent in a crowded car. She looked at me, lowered her eyebrows into a scowl, and stamped her foot. It was both an adorably sweet joke and a serious statement all at once. It reminded me why and how much I love her and made me feel foolish for having behaved like a child.

Later, when we got home, we talked about what had happened Friday. I told her that I need more guidance and had a hard time with her mixed signals. She said that she had some sexy plans for after the rubdown. Apparently this would have been the first thing she was going to do entirely for herself. I don't know if that contributed to the bashfulness. I apologized, but now that I've gone through this here, I feel like she deserves a better one that I gave. I need to work on being less defensive and 'sticking up for myself' less. I don't need to protect myself from her.

Yesterday was just a nice day together.


  1. dude. wrong reaction. try this one, "yes you are right that I failed to proceed with the massage like you asked of me at dinner. I apologize and will try to improve for the next time. I willingly accept any punishment you feel appropriate as a way I could serve you better in the future."

  2. Follow through is important. I have felt a similar disappointment with my partner when I suggested some interesting activity with her and didn't complete it. For me, I've had to eliminate distractions such as TV and pay closer attention to my SO. Play time is really "relation" time. I have to rebuild my relationship every day. It doesn't run on its own momentum.

  3. It's all about communication, which, you did get to talk. That's the key.