Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A Present

Yesterday was one of the anniversaries my wife and I celebrate and we had a guest staying with us, so we left the baby at home and went on a dinner date. This is the second dinner we've had together without the baby since she was born eight months ago. That's mostly because I'm hesitant to leave her, but still it was a special treat.

We shared a pitcher of margaritas and talked a lot about how happy we are with our lives and our family and how much we love each other. On our way home, I saw a little opening and mentioned that I've been trying to tell her for more than a month that it is getting more important for me to have her acknowledge that she's the leader in our relationship. She had noticed, of course. She said she'd been resisting because she is afraid that if we do that, then if it stops working well, it may be hard to transition to some other method of relating. She's been afraid that if we go this route and it doesn't work, we could get confused and interpret that as our marriage not working. She asked me to promise that we can reevaluate and hold open the possibility of moving away from having her as leader. I agreed, of course.

That's about it. I did follow up with, "And it's sexy." She told me to say that again, I did, and that was about the end of the conversation. Also, though normally on our anniveraries, and especially after lots of romantic relationship talk, we'd make love, as we went to bed my wife said firmly, "You're not getting any tonight." So my wife is now the acknowledged head of our marriage. I"m thrilled. 

Even so I am afraid that I'm moving too fast, so I'm going to try try try to go slow and enjoy what we've got now. Our houseguest left today, so I will get to give her a foot rub tonight at least. Other than that, I'm just going to clean the house like crazy and try to make her as happy as I can.  Now I'd better get to cleaning. I love her so much.


  1. She is a wise woman. A marriage can be female led but it should never be about being female led.

    And kudos to you for opening the conversation.

    Every marriage needs open communication. I read so many blogs where one partner forgets that in the pursuit of a female led relationship

  2. How fortunate for both of you, that you were able to communicate some of your desires and she was willing to accept it. I hope that your patience and hard work will pay off for you, and as she grows more confident in her role I'm sure that you will find soon that she controls the pace of this relationship!

  3. Thanks for the encouragement!

    She is wise and we are both fortunate in so many ways.