Monday, August 24, 2009

Try Again?

Hello again.

MissusB had been hinting around for a week or two about wanting to start FLR again. She asked for a footrub yesterday. It was the first one she's had since we stopped FLR in June. I didn't jump at her hints. I have been nervous since it put a lot of strain on us last time. She kept mentioning it, sort of off hand, though. Finally, yesterday I asked her if we should talk about it and we did.

She wants to be in charge because she wants things done just how she wants them done. She doesn't want to have to negotiate with me to get them done. She wants to be able to decide and then have me step up and do the work. There are sexual things that she isn't into, and that she felt pressure about. She mentioned queening, but I got the feeling there were others. I didn't feel like I was pressing, but I guess I was. She says the main sexual thing she wants is the orgasm control, which is the main thing for me, too.

She still blames herself some for it not working out before, because she didn't really 'understand her role'. Now she feels like she gets that it is about her getting her way and she shouldn't worry about being sure to meet any agenda of mine. She said part of the problem before was that it wasn't her idea. This time it is.

We aren't starting again just yet, though. She's been dealing with some health problems and that has mostly eliminated our sex life for right now anyway. She wants to keep talking about concerns we have and take some time to think it over. I think that is a great idea. I had intended to be very cautious if this ever came up again and I am trying to be, but of course I'm also very excited. I've stopped masturbating and have started feeling more motivated around the house already.

I am also going to go ahead and embrace just what a huge turn on and thrill this is for me, so I've started another blog for pictures I find and captions I make. I haven't mentioned it to MissusB yet. I will soon, so I apologize if it goes away in a hurry. There's only one post right now, but I have others nearly ready. 1050 Words


  1. boy, the queening thing is one that I want to, but I have to remember that it is not about what I want, it is what my wife wants. It has been about a month since I was fantasying about the queening thing.

    FYI, my wife is going through some health things too that are lowering or all but eliminating her desire for sexual service, but our WLM dynamic continues. Since it is what she wants and her enforcement of that as how the two of us spend our time, the absence of sex is actually a form of her control.

    My wife too got a foot massage last night. Two hours worth. After, I was denied my Sunday night orgasm because of some other issues, but she fell asleep with her arm over my chest causing an erection until I fell asleep about midnight. That was pretty cool for me. I like it when she gives me an erection before going to sleep. Again, a form of her control.

  2. What a great turn of events. If this is now coming from your wife, then you stand a much better chance of creating what for you both could be a truly wonderful and fulfilling relationship based upon your wifes desire to have you under her control and doing things the way she wants them. In many ways this I believe is the only way that any couple will have a sucessful WLR. Your task now is to let your wife dictate the pace and direction. Given that she is already starting to do this should give you the encouragement that you need to play your part. It maybe that it is not exactly what you have desired, Queening etc, but it will be I am sure just as rewarding. Just the fact that your wife wants to take control and begins to express and acknowledge your submissive role to her, should be enough to get you started. What develops thereafter will be up to your wife, but given time I am sure that it will move closer to what you had first imagined.

    Only you know your wife, I cant remember if she knows about your blog, but is your other blog and telling your wife about it a good idea, may it not smack of topping, suggesting to your wife through images and cations the sort of things that you would like rather than letting her decide what she wants.

    Just a thought....!!!

  3. Thanks for replying. My wife does know about both these blogs now. I told her about the other one yesterday when I started it.

    You're right that it could seem toppy on its own, but we've talked about it quite a bit. I have assured her, and I think she believes me, that I'll be perfectly happy if she doesn't ever want to do any of the particular things that I have had fantasies about. She also was pretty insistent that I not hold back any fantasies or thoughts from her.

    I hope we're coming in with a pretty clear view and I am confident that if my wife feels pressure from me this time, she'll let me know and correct it.