Sunday, December 6, 2009

Level Up.

I am feeling very lustful these days. I am getting erections at the drop of a hat. I wake up over and over throughout the night because my stiff dick is so sensitive to any contact of the sheets rubbing against it as I roll over or shift. This is exactly what I wanted and it is also a great struggle. In my fantasies, I am always forced to go for a long time between orgasms, but in real life we had more or less settled into one a week. Now we're edging(heh) past three weeks and it really makes a difference. That and,  as I've mentioned recently, MissusB has really stepped into her role and is making every day more wife led.

It does help me stay more attentive to MissusB. She has made it clear, though, that she doesn't want me to be very clingy, and that is getting more and more difficult. I have been successful so far, I think, but I feel like I'm constantly biting my tongue. Or I feel like I am spending a ton of energy in keeping my hands off her. She has really firmed up her habit of quickly chastising me if I stroke her without permission or when she wants me to stop for whatever reason. This change in the quantity of our physical contact is a harder adjustment for me than the orgasm control.

 I have had several moments lately where it feels like she has forgotten about or else intentionally disregarded my interest in some minor thing. She was afraid when we started that she may take me for granted, but I have all along more or less felt like she should just expect me to be there for her since I have made that commitment. For example, yesterday we had a few hours on a weekend afternoon while the baby napped. Of course, after our very intimate night on Friday I was feeling very close to her and wanted to do something together. She settled into a video game pretty quickly. At first, out of habit, I did this or that to try to gently dislodge her or kind of speed her along. After a bit, I realized what I was doing and that what I really want is for MissusB to do exactly what she wants. At that moment, I was able to settle down and sit with her and watch.  It felt good. I didn't mention anything to her, but I just felt good to be able to put my own stuff aside and sit and do what she wanted to do. I feel like I'm growing into my new role, too.

Then this morning, I woke up before MissusB and the baby did. I started writing this, but then thought it would be nice to clean up the house while I had some time alone. I did a quick pass at everything and was done and back to writing before they got up. Then, more or less out of the blue, without a mention of the housecleaning or anything else, MissusB took an opportunity to grab my package through my pajamas and squeeze and stroke me for a few seconds. Those few seconds and my wife and her general awesomeness will be on my mind for days.

Everything is really coming together. I'm even enjoying the hard parts. I'm a very lucky man.

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear that things are going well for you and that you are finding the right balance. I think that it is one of the most important things that you can do, but not always that easy