Friday, October 16, 2009


MissusB and I have been a bit distant for a while.

We've been basically just hanging around each other. We had an argument about two weeks ago and have each been dealing with the aftermath in our own way. Wednesday we had the aftershock argument. I think we have got things pretty well reknit.

FLR came up a bit in the original argument but I think it was more a distraction than actually relevant. Then in the meantime, neither of us has been really relating to each other in any meaningful way including leading or following.

During the follow up, I said that it didn't seem like FLR was making anything better for either of us and that we might as well give it up. I should back up, actually. Leading into the conversation, MissusB started telling me that I need to do this and that. It felt strange and not great. She had just been out of that role for long enough that it didn't make sense right away. Then we talked about things.

So, when I said that I didn't think FLR was getting us anything, she said I was no longer doing it right and that it had been good for her when I had been. When I talked about giving it up, she said "It isn't up to you whether we do FLR or not." and it wasn't a pose at all. As little as she has been leading, she still feels it is her decision. And she's right of course. Even before we were officially female led, she made the decisions and even if we ever go back to officially equal partners, she will be making the decisions.

So, we removed the splinter from our paw and are well on our way to mending. She's even mentioned the possibility of romance sometime soon.


  1. bummer. hope things carousel around for you two.

  2. WLM or not, it always, always comes down to communication. Glad things are mending.