Saturday, October 17, 2009

reconnected

We had some friends over tonight. Most of today was spent cleaning and preparing for their arrival. MissusB did a lot of work, which made me a bit uncomfortable at first, but she seemed to want to, so I didn't say anything. It was just a nice day together.

We laid down for a nap that got sidetracked by MissusB vibrating herself to an orgasm. Then she asked me if I was excited and told me good night. However, she then reached over with the vibrator and started rubbing it over my stiff cock. She did that for a few minutes and I asked if I could come. It had been two weeks, which is longer than I've gone since we've been married, even counting when the baby was born. She said I could and it was fantastic.

Then we napped just a little and went back to preparing for our guests. It feels like the recent friction is just about totally behind us.

One of my in laws is coming for a visit soon, so I expect that will have a big impact on things around here both between MissusB and me and between the Internet and me. I'm not guessing it will be for the worse in either case, but I do anticipate and impact.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Lately

MissusB and I have been a bit distant for a while.

We've been basically just hanging around each other. We had an argument about two weeks ago and have each been dealing with the aftermath in our own way. Wednesday we had the aftershock argument. I think we have got things pretty well reknit.

FLR came up a bit in the original argument but I think it was more a distraction than actually relevant. Then in the meantime, neither of us has been really relating to each other in any meaningful way including leading or following.

During the follow up, I said that it didn't seem like FLR was making anything better for either of us and that we might as well give it up. I should back up, actually. Leading into the conversation, MissusB started telling me that I need to do this and that. It felt strange and not great. She had just been out of that role for long enough that it didn't make sense right away. Then we talked about things.

So, when I said that I didn't think FLR was getting us anything, she said I was no longer doing it right and that it had been good for her when I had been. When I talked about giving it up, she said "It isn't up to you whether we do FLR or not." and it wasn't a pose at all. As little as she has been leading, she still feels it is her decision. And she's right of course. Even before we were officially female led, she made the decisions and even if we ever go back to officially equal partners, she will be making the decisions.

So, we removed the splinter from our paw and are well on our way to mending. She's even mentioned the possibility of romance sometime soon.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Nothing Much

MissusB has been having some health issues that have taken basically all her energy. I've been taking care of the house she's been cooking a little. We've generally just been taking it easy. Nothing sexy happening. We've hardly left the house, really. She did apologize last night that we haven't had sex in a while. It was a very non-FLR moment and I just hope I handled it sensitively. While it is sexy for my wife to deny me sex or release and it can make her feel sexier and more powerful, it doesn't work that way when she feels like it isn't her choice either. Both of us are being rather unsexilly denied by her health issues. I assured her that I was fine and that I missed the cuddling more than anything else, but more than anything I just want her to get to feel ok.

So, there we stand until who knows when. I can only hope for her sake that she starts to feel better soon and can get back to a full enjoyment of life and love and everything she likes.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Unexpected

After the baby went to bed last night, I offered MissusB a footrub. She accepted and said that I should be naked for it. When I came back naked from gathering the foot rub things, she had me set them down and then turn around so she could look. She told me to 'stand proud' and corrected my posture in a couple ways. It was very different for us and exciting for me.

We watched her tv show while I rubbed her feet. Afterward, she said she needed an orgasm and sent me to get her vibrator from the bedroom. Then she set me to finding some web porn for her to look at while she masturbated. I started by looking at the few tumblr pictures blogs I look at and during that she was reminded of my picture and captions blog, which she hadn't looked at since just after I started it. I stood by and watched as she read through the whole thing. It was kind of scary to have so many of my fantasies exposed like that one after another. At the end, though, she praised me. She said she enjoyed it and thinks I struck just the right tone. I could see her sense of power grow a bit as she processed what she'd just seen.

We moved from that to just looking around a bit at random sites. She requested some ruined orgasm porn and enthusiastically narrated some picture sets while she fondled me and edged me for a little while. Pretty soon, she brought me to the edge and let go as I came on myself. It was my first ruined orgasm and she loved it. She asked me how it was. I told her that I'd liked getting there, but I didn't feel the big strong orgasm feeling and was still very turned on.

She was thrilled to hear it. MissusB now thinks ruined orgasms could be the perfect solution for us. She thinks more frequent orgasms are better for conception, and this is a way for us to do that without me getting more gratification than she wants me to have. I did mention to her that this was not one the parts of FLR that I was into or that I'd really considered before we started this. She briefly began to chastise me for trying to only be wife led when she leads me where I want to go. I have to admit that her tone and forcefulness was incredibly sexy. I assured her, though, that I wasn't trying to tell her or even suggest what she should do. I was honestly just letting her know.

In fact there are of course any number of things that I don't find exciting myself or even that I think would be unpleasant, but that I'd be thrilled to do if MissusB even felt a whim to try them. I have to admit that I'm feeling as focused on MissusB today as I do when I've been denied for quite a while.