Saturday, January 23, 2010

And just like that...

Last night was sorta date night.  We had a lot of fun with our baby and had a nice dinner together. Then we hung out together while MissusB read and I played Borderlands. It was low key, but very nice. Then we went to bed.

We talked a little about stuff at her office. She's been under quite a bit of pressure there and thinks that has been taking some energy away from us. Then, she just climbed on top of me and we held each other there for a while. I wrapped my arms around her and hang on. I was in the best place in the whole world. Then we made love there. I am a very lucky man.

We talked this morning just a bit about FLR. She says she can tell I'm feeling better about things. She doesn't feel like she has creative energy to come up with "scenes". I don't need or even really hope for "scenes", but helping wives understand that seems to be a common struggle. I am certain that just literally a moment here and there could be enough to keep me dizzy. I couldn't figure out just how to say that during our conversation, or just how much or what kind of example I could offer. I will look for another chance to try to say it. I remember reading a list on someone's blog of the kind of little things a wife can do that seem big to a man but tiny to a woman. I will look for that, too.


  1. Wow. I am right on the edge of exposing my desires to my wife and your comments make me realize that if she agrees (just ordered "Around Her Finger" - should arrive in a week), patience will be the key word as we move slowly ahead. She is not into "kink" (nor I - and I don't really want that) so I am hoping the book helps her get past the fears of the unknown, thinking this is evil or "dirty". My wife, too, is not very creative sexually, so a guide book with examples of things to do/say to a husband demonstrating the wife's control would be helpful. Good luck, friend. I will be following your progress.

  2. here are a couple of my previous posts....

    I can relate to not being able to get across what I am feeling or want to say. I also have a problem being manipulative where I try an get what I want by subtle and indirect ways instead of just coming out and asking. These are things I am continuing to work on.

  3. Thanks for the advice. I think this will be an ongoing challenge.

  4. Advice for Julie:

    The decision to expose your desires to your wife is obviously very difficult. I grappled with it for at least two years before giving mine the AHF book, which I thought was a very gentle and non-threatening approach. In fact, I even "prepped" her for this with several seemingly encouraging conversations beforehand. Just know that the answer you get from your wife may not be what you envision (or hope for). Maybe it will be (I hope so!)... but go into this with open eyes: Many, many women find this ideal utterly repulsive - a complete contrast to their ideals of good marriage (a partnership based on mutual respect). My own wishful thinking completely clouded my judgment, and this led to a lot of frustration. Best wishes to you.

  5. I have also read AHF and found it a pretty quick read. My wife and I are in the infant stages of a FLR. I have enjoyed follwoing several blogs such as this one, femdom101 and several others.

    I have actually started blogging myself and you can click on my name to follow my blog or find us at foreverhers. I believe its

    It's a scarey place for both husbands and wifes and one you enter a FLR its hard to go back. I honestly don't feel fulfilled unless I am serving her and finding a balance between this and vanilla life is a struggle.